555 KACL
by Pat2Trivia4Me
Summary: Frasier is On The Air! Hope you find this short story of Frasier's radio show enjoyable. Frasier is giving out his advice of wisdom and wit, yet he has problems of his own. Will he be able to get through the three hour show?
1. Chapter 1

_555-KACL by Patrick Councilor_

**Author's Note: ** I would like to dedicate this story to Andrea. She has written stories of Frasier doing his radio show and in doing so, has inspired this one. Special thanks to those who have read my other stories and have left reviews that have GREATLY motivated me: MensaCat, Andrea, Kristen, and Leighann to mention a few.

"Good Afternoon Seattle. This is Dr. Frasier Crane. What a beautiful sunny day. My wonderful producer has brought in coffee for me and it is much appreciated. I'd like to start off by proposing a theme topic for today, if I may: 'New Beginnings'. You see, I've moved back to Seattle four months ago and could not be happier when KACL welcomed me with open arms. I've recently ended my relationship and moved back to this wonderful city. Let's get right to your calls." He took a big drink from his paper coffee cup with the plastic lid. He cringed. What was this swill? This was NOT how he liked his coffee.

His producer gave him a "thumbs-up", as a questioning gesture asking how he liked his coffee.

Frasier waved back. He then hit the cough button, pretended to sneeze, and spit most of the coffee in the waste basket beneath his console.

"Wow…" Frasier tried to compose himself. "That's SOME coffee." He rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, as if that would rid him of the taste. "Alright…" he said while he checked his pockets for a mint. "Let's take our first call…" He opened his briefcase… Nothing… Damn. "Gary, who do we have on line one?" he asked as he settled in his chair for a LONG three hours.

"We have Sarah from Kirkland. She is having second thoughts about a blind date."

Frasier hit the button. "Hello Sarah, I'm listening."

"Thanks for taking my call Dr. Crane. I'm a nervous wreck about this date. I…I don't know what to do. I… I'm having second thoughts about going through with it."

"I see. And why do you feel this way?"

"I don't know. Blind dates usually don't have great success rates. I mean, why do my friends think that I need setting up?"

"What about your social life? Do you get out often to meet new people?"

"Well… no. But I do talk to a lot of new people on a daily basis."

"I see, and how do you do that if you don't get out that often?"

"I work out of my home. I sell home STD kits by phone."

"Oh my," Frasier said with great concern. "Home Sexually Transmitted Disease kits." He shot his producer a wide-eyed look. "Although your type of job may be great for conversation starters, I doubt it could lead to meeting someone in terms of dating."

"I know and there are so many diseases out there with so many people taking things for granted."

"I see where this is going Sarah. As a policeman may show signs of depression in view of human behavior due to their daily experiences centered around violent people, so must a doctor value health practices at home. On a daily basis, you are talking to strangers about sexually transmitted diseases. Subconsciously, you are rooting that fear inside you."

"Well, what do you think I should do Dr. Crane?"

"Go out on this date Sarah. Venture forth. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you are feeling uncomfortable, you could ask your courter to meet you in a public place for drinks, that way you are not committed to a full evening. Perhaps you could let him know that you want to start out slow and build on a solid, but romantic, friendship."

"Wow, thanks Dr. Crane. That's great advice. Do you mind if I call in tomorrow to let you know how it went?"

"I would like that Sarah. I'll be here for you."

"Thanks Dr. Crane."

"Thank you for your call." He clicked the button. "Who's next Gare?"

"I have Richard from Marysville on line two. He's having problems with his girlfriend."

Frasier tapped the button. "Richard, you're on the air. I'm listening."

"Thank God I got through Dr. Crane. I could really use your advice. I feel a little suspicious about my girlfriend. I don't think she is being completely truthful with me."

"And why is that?"

"I think she is only seeing me for my money."

"Well Richard, often men try to impress a lady with a great evening only to find that his first impression was too costly to try to maintain that type of economical composure. The bar was simply set too high from the start. Have you been dating her long?"

"No, only a few weeks."

"I see, and are you experiencing anxiety about her reaction about your net worth?"

"Yeah, I guess so. She thinks I'm rich."

"Rich? What would draw her to that conclusion?"

"I told her I was rich when I met her for the first time."

"Richard, would you listen to yourself? You're concerned about her being truthful, yet you have started this relationship on false pretenses. You may be lacking in self-confidence. I'm sure you have great attributes that can stand on their own merit to a lady you fancy. There is more to life than the size of a bank note a person can write."

"… yeah… I think I'm going to tell her my stocks crashed. Thanks Dr. Crane." His voice was followed by a dial tone.

Frasier sighed as he disconnected the line. "Listen, I'm certain there are other Richards out there in the same situations. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship, stand true to yourself. Not only will you be better off by not having to get yourself out of the corner you painted yourself in, but you will be feeling proud of your honesty and integrity. In the greater Seattle area, the number is 555-KACL. The lines are open, so please give us a call. Who's our next caller?"

"We have Spencer from Bellevue on line four. He's calling about his mother-in-law."

He tapped the button. "Good afternoon Spencer. I'm listening."

"You inconsiderate pompous jerk!"

"Excuse me," Frasier said defensively.

"I called in long before the show started and have been on hold for over 15 minutes."

"I do apologize for the wait, but this is a call-in radio show and there are times when we get flooded with calls."

"Bla-bla-bla. Are you going to ask me what my problem is or what?"

Frasier hit the cough button to say to Gary, "I think I already know what his problem is." Anger management. He sighed heavily before getting back with his caller. Truth was, Frasier wasn't up to handling this call. He was going through his own personal problems that weighed on him heavily.


	2. Chapter 2

_555-KACL by Patrick Councilor_

Frasier stood in the hallway outside his booth, tossing peanut M&Ms into his mouth one at a time as he leaned against the wall in deep thought. He really didn't want to be here today. He missed being in a solid relationship. "What do you do Frasier?" the voice inside him said. "When life gives you lemons, make lemon-aid." He cracked a forced half-smile. "Then why do I feel like I just sucked on a lemon?"

Gary's voice boomed over the PA, "And welcome back to the Frasier Crane Show."

Frasier bounded away from the wall and pushed himself through the doorway of his booth as Gary stalled for time.

"Please call in. We've got plenty of lines open."

Frasier took his seat and dropped his bag of candy on the counter to sling his head set back over his ears. He slapped the console button. "We're back. And we have Spencer on the line. If you're just tuning in, you haven't missed much…" Frasier just realize that that comment sounded like he was insulting himself – that the show was not worth listening to. "…I mean… Spencer and I are just getting started here. Thanks for waiting on hold Spencer, while we went to commercial."

"Hey moron, thanks for that." The sarcasm was strong in his voice. "It's not like my time is important or anything."

"Spencer, in the field of psychology, 'moron' is no longer in technical use. It is considered offensive, so let's refrain from the name calling so that we may get to the root of your problem. I am here to help you and 'I'm listening'."

The caller took a deep breath. "I… I'm sorry Dr. Crane. Lately, I'm out of sorts and don't seem to have any patience with my mother-in-law."

"Spencer, do you talk to your mother in this manner?"

"About every chance I get. That old bitty!" His voice started to rage.

"Spencer, take a deep breath. I don't know what could cause your anger to thrive so quickly."

"She leaves her panty hose hanging on the shower rod."

"Ah, so she's staying with you. Well, I'm sure you have expressed yourself with her," he commented on how vocal he was, "but have you talked to her in a civil manner, face to face, without the rages of anger and name-calling."

"Name-calling? Hell, those are pet names for her and I've got about a million of them for her. But… no, we haven't really sat down and talked."

"Are the times with her, the only times you get so angered?"

"Lately, it seems like I'm angered all the time. Just yesterday, I yelled at the lady at the drive-thru for taking too long with the car in front of me."

"Now yelling at the lady, did that help your situation? Did you get better service or did that take away from the time you could have been placing your own order?"

"I…" The man started to sob. "I guess it didn't do much but make her cry. This isn't me doc. Could you tell me how to get rid of my mother-in-law?"

"Spencer, listen to me. Beyond psychology, speaking to you as someone who cares about your well-being, I feel that you are not calling in about your mother-in-law. If you listen to your own words, you may realize that you're actually calling in about yourself."

Spencer's voice dropped solemnly. "You think so."

"Spencer, did you interact with the lady at the drive thru after dealing with your mother-in-law? You may not have even realized how you sounded when you just called in and in your own words, you did say, 'This isn't me'."

He tried to compose himself. "You're good. You are good. You are very good. You're right. I don't want to treat people like this. I'm starting to hate myself."

"You admitting it and realizing it is the first step to recovery. Getting angry so quickly at those levels are doing more harm to your own health than where you are directing it. Next time you feel yourself losing your temper, take a long deep breath and let it out. Tell yourself that it's not worth jeopardizing your own health."

"You're a genius doc. I'm going to tell more people about you."

"Now I'll put you on hold and Gary will give you a list of things to try and if you'd like to start anger management sessions, I'll provide Gary with the name of a specialist that…"

"No," Spencer cut him off. "Please doc. Let me start now. I'll do the breathing thing, but can you suggest more. I want to try them now. I need your help. Please."

Frasier felt the man's desperation. "Very well Spencer. You need some practice with patience. One way we can practice this is for me to put you on hold while I take a call and then I will get back with you to see how you're doing."

"Love it! Love it doc! You are the greatest. You're the best. Put me on hold. I can do this."

"Hang in there Spencer, I'll be back with you after I take another call."

"Thanks doc."

Frasier put him on hold. "Gary, who…" Something on the console caught Frasier's eye. It was a new cup of coffee. It was in a carry-out cup from Café Nervosa. "…Who do we have next?" He took a hold of the cup. It was warm and fresh.

"We have Brenda on line two. She's calling from Puyallup. She's thinking about changing her career."

Frasier smelled the coffee. A wonderful roast of a magnificent blend arose from it. He took a small sip. Just the way he liked it. He hit the cough button. "Gary, where did this coffee come from?" Releasing the button, he said in the same breath, "Hello Brenda. I'm listening."

Gary hit the cough button. "Some lady dropped it off." He shook his head like he didn't know who she was.

Some lady, eh? Did Frasier have a secret admirer? Ha! Whoever it was, she sure knew what he liked.

"Doctor Crane, I'm in a healthy relationship and I love my job, but I find myself day dreaming about starting my own business… maybe somewhere else, like another city somewhere."

Ah, who was he kidding? A secret admirer. He was still picking up the pieces of his shattered heart. It seemed the more time that passed, the more he missed her. It was starting to affect his sleep and his appetite. If he could split himself into two, he may even call into his own show. Perhaps he should call his brother Niles and get some advice. "Well Brenda, starting a new business is a big step. To break even within the first year without any profits is considered successful when starting a new business. It sounds like your current job and relationship is going well. Is this new job something you've thought about for a long time or just recently?" He took a drink. The coffee was good though.

"I've been dreaming about it for years. I'm a bank manager and find myself doing research on this new business every spare moment that I get. Am I thinking logically or am I just not feeling challenged?"

"Well perhaps. If you have so much time to do this research during your job, that is a good sign that you may not feel challenged enough. Tell me about your relationship." Like I really want to hear about a successful relationship, he smugly thought.

"Todd and I have been seeing each other for almost two years now. He's great. He's romantic. We may be in love."

"Two years is quite a bit of time to use the phrase 'may be'. Do you think he may be the one?"

"I don't know Dr. Crane. When I use the word 'Love', I think it will be in reference to my soul mate."

"I see. Do you see yourself with him in five years from now? Ten years?"

"Wow, you put it that way and it puts things into perspective." She paused. "Yes… yes, I could see myself with him."

"Have you told him about this dream of starting your new business?"

"Well… no, not yet."

"And why is that?"

"I'm… not sure."

"Brenda, this business sounds like an escape hatch. You mentioned possibly starting it in a new city. You haven't told your significant other about this idea. If this has been an ongoing dream of yours, your gentleman should support you. On the other hand, if this is 'An Out' reserved to make a major change in your life, it may be subconscious. If I may ask, are your parents still together?"

"Yes, they're together. They've been happily married for over forty years now."

"Perhaps you have a fear of commitment. May I be so bold to ask what this new business would be?"

"A bar. I wanted to open a bar. I'm afraid to tell Todd. I don't want him to think I'm crazy. I mean from a bank manager to being an owner of a bar. It sounds crazy to say it out loud."

"Brenda, Sigmund Freud once said, 'Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy'."

"Thanks Doctor Crane. I appreciate that. I mean, going from a job where I'm almost pulling in six figures with the commissions and stock options to becoming a bar owner… well it would be more like a nice little tavern where people could come and get a drink to unwind."

"I have a very good friend in Boston who owns a bar."

"So I should tell Todd."

"Certainly, confide in him. It's the next step to fulfilling your dream."

"Thanks Doctor Crane, you don't think it's a crazy idea, do you?"

"Oh, I didn't say that." He pursed his fingers over the call button. "Thank you for your call." He disconnected. Taking another drink from the wonderful cup of coffee, he then announced, "Let's check back in with Spencer." He slapped the button for line four. "How we doing Spenc?"

It was as if the connection had caught Spencer ranting to himself while on hold. "You winded ass-bag!"

"Spencer!" Frasier's voice as accusing.

"Sorry Doctor Crane. I'm trying – I'm trying." He took a deep breath and then was silent.

"Spencer no. Take a deep breath in and slowly let it out. Holding your breath will only make you pass out."

He exhaled. "Wow, thanks doc. I would have been up the creek if I didn't get that straightened out."

"Are you okay now?"

"Sure. I won't forget you for this. You are the king of psychology. Hey doc, can I go again? I need the practice."

"Certainly Spencer. I'll put you on hold again." Frasier did so. "You're listening to KACL 780 on your AM dial. Who's next Gare?"

"We have Kathy on line three calling from Seattle. She's having a steamy affair."

"Just what I need," he said sarcastically… OVER THE AIR… oops. Ah, what the hell? he thought. He hit line three. "Kathy, you're on the air with Doctor Frasier Crane. How can I help you?"

"Doctor Crane," a sexy voice called out. "I'm torn between two lovers."

Oh great, Frasier thought. Who am I to give advise to? I can't even hold on to a relationship. You've called Dr. Frasier 'Ain't-Gettin'-Any' Crane.


	3. Chapter 3

_555-KACL by Patrick Councilor_

"The worst thing about it, Dr. Crane, is that I am a married woman."

"Well Kathy, things of this nature usually end in a very ugly fashion. Is it worth all of the time and energy you've spent in your marriage to give it up for moments of something that, although may be fresh and exciting, offers no real future? You're not just cheating on your husband, you are also cheating yourself. You must be having guilt and remorse…"

"The other man is my first husband. I made promises to him too."

"I see. And are there any children involved in either relationship?"

"No… no children."

"Kathy, it sounds like you are looking for an advocate for your actions. It's obvious that when you executed your divorce, you had annulled your promises with your first husband. Although you may have feelings for your first husband, have you considered putting forth the energy you are exercising on this romance to salvage your new marriage? After all, your current promises and vows are with your new husband."

"I just feel torn."

"That's understandable, but if you continue this relationship with your ex, I suggest ending your marriage. You have to make that choice, but you also have to remember that you are not living with your first husband and that takes pressure off of the reasons you probably divorced him in the first place."

"You know what Dr. Crane, you are right. I have to make my decision."

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence Kathy. And many of times, if you cross that fence, the grass grows greener on the side you were just on. Not to mention that's the side where your house is that you're still paying the mortgage on."

"Thanks Dr. Crane. I think you saved my marriage."

"You're more than welcome Kathy. Thank you for your call. Gary, who's our next caller?"

"We have Benny on line five from Kent who is having problems with people who yell."

Frasier slapped the button as he took a quick sip of his coffee. Ah, the rich blend of a good java. Yet who sent this wonderful cup of heaven? "Good afternoon Benny. I'm listening."

"Dr. Crane, I'm a huge fan of yours and listen all the time. I have a problem and decided to get your advice."

"It's always great to meet a fan. What are you having a problem with Benny?"

"People who scream make me very nervous."

"This problem is more common that you may realize." Frasier turned his cup to see if there was a name on the cup. If there was, it would be the name of whoever ordered it. He couldn't quite make it out.

"Yeah and it's REAL COMMON for me Dr. Crane. My boss was yelling at someone else; someone next to me. My palms got sweaty and I couldn't breathe. When he was done yelling, I went and hid in the bathroom for an hour."

"Oh my, that does seem extreme." He took a closer look at the scribble on the coffee cup: L^ud . "Is that Lynda?"

"No, my boss' name is Gregory."

Frasier dropped the cup. Oh my God, I didn't just do that, he thought as the cup seemed to take forever to free-fall to the counter. The lid bounced away and hot java splashed all over Frasier's trousers.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He jumped up. "Oh that's hot!" He patted his lap to try to cool it. "Benny, I'm sorry. I just spilled hot coffee all over my self… Benny…Benny are you there?" Then the horrid sound of a dial tone could be heard. Gary rushed into the booth with a towel. He handed it to Frasier and quickly went back to his booth. Frasier wiped down the counter and then his chair. "Benny, if you're still listening, I'm awfully sorry. I spilled coffee all over myself and didn't mean to raise my voice. First of all, you must consider the situation of the person yelling. If it is not directed at you, take that into consideration. If you'd like to call back, Gary will put you right through or if you'd like, Gary can supply you with a specialist to work with you." Frasier tried to compose himself further as he settled back down in his chair. "I want to apologize to the rest of my listeners for my sudden outburst. Let's take a moment to listen to this commercial from…" Frasier checked his index card. "The Seattle Mariners."

Gary started the commercial.

"Gary, what did this lady look like that delivered my coffee?"

"Why are you planning revenge for her brining you a faulty coffee cup?"

"No," he said with a slight attitude as he tried to dry his lap with the towel.

"Ah… she was medium build, blonde lady with a nice body."

Frasier's eyes shifted back and forth. Who could that be? The name on the cup could have been anything. It wasn't written well at all. Oh, what did it matter? Frasier wasn't ready to start dating again. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. Perhaps he would never date anyone ever again. How could he come back from losing his soul mate?

Gary tapped on the window.

Frasier was quick at the draw to hit his console button. "We're back. Let's get back with Spencer to see how he is doing." He slapped the button for line four.

"You egotistical nincompoop!"

"Well Spencer… I see that we're making headway," Frasier said with sarcasm.

"Don't give up on me doc. Please. I am trying. Please. Could we try again? You're the only one I have to turn to."

"Spencer, anger management cannot be solved in one day… in an afternoon and definitely not during one phone call."

"Please doc. Each time you put me on hold, I somehow can hold my patience that much longer. Please Doctor Crane."

"Alright Spencer, but we are going to take this to the next level."

"What? What does that mean?"

"I'm not going to get back with you after each call and I may even challenge you by being a little rude to you."

"That's great doc. I prom…"

Frasier cut him off by putting him on hold during mid-sentence. "We'll get back with Spencer later. Gary who do we have next?"

"We have Beth on line one calling from South Seattle. She's having problems letting go of a loved one."

Frasier hit the button to hear the sound of a lady sobbing. "Beth, this is Dr. Crane. I'm here for you and I'm listening…"

Her voice was quivering. "I'm so sorry Doctor Crane. I can't seem to compose myself for this call."

"Dear Beth," his tone was gentle. "Please take your time. I would love to help you."

"I've just lost my mother a month ago and I… I can't let her go…" The sound of her sobbing grew.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Beth. Love is the greatest strength known to man. We just can't and shouldn't dismiss it so easily. It's okay to mourn for a long period of time for people that mean so much in our…" Frasier caught himself starting to sob. "…our lives."

"Perhaps we should go to another commercial," Gary suggested on the air.

Frasier held up a hand to wave at Gary. "No, we're fine. Beth, I lost my mother many years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and I would just be crushed if anything happened to my father."

The words Frasier spoke were true, but they were not what was causing him to break down live on his show.


	4. Chapter 4

_555-KACL by Patrick Councilor_

"Doctor Crane, are you okay?" the caller asked.

"Yes Beth I am fine… I will be. Mourning the one you've lost pays tribute and respect to that person. That person seems to live on through our memories and thoughts."

"Doctor Crane…" her voice trailed off in sobs.

"I'm here Beth," he said as he wiped his own tear away. He hit the cough button to try to clear his throat.

"Were you very close to your mother?"

"Why yes Beth, we were awfully close. She was more than my mother actually. She was one of my best friends."

"Didn't you say that you lost her many years ago?"

Frasier realized that Beth was seeing right through Frasier. She knew there was something more that was troubling him. Hell, most of Seattle was listening to it. "Well Beth, I am also recovering from the end of the strongest relationship I have ever had… and right at this moment, I'm thinking the strongest relationship I ever will have…"

"Doctor Crane… if you don't mind me saying… I think things will work out for you… you are the dearest men…"

"Thank you Beth. Somehow… even when the storm looks darkest… things seem to work themselves out, don't they? Your mother, if I may say, I'm sure would be honored that you are feeling so much sorrow for her, but she would still want you to move on with your life. You can always keep her in your heart. And she will be there for just as long as you live."

Beth started sobbing harder. "It sounds just like something she would say. God bless you Doctor Crane. I think you are right where you're supposed to be… doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing."

"Thank you Beth. You are very kind and I wish the best for you."

"And you as well… I think any woman would be lucky to have you."

"Thank you for saying that. As far as your mourning, it does help to talk about it; share your feelings and experiences. There are support groups out there that I would highly suggest."

"I think that would be great."

"I'll put you on hold and Gary will have more information on that for you."

"Thanks again Doctor Crane. Thank God you were here for me."

Frasier took in a slow deep breath. He could feel the air entering his lungs. He tried to stop his own tears and get back to the show. He could have talk to Beth all day long. What a pleasant person. "It was a pleasure Beth. Please feel free to call in anytime." He felt a comfort in being able to help her.

"Thanks again Doctor Crane. I think some day you're going to look back on this last relationship and actually appreciate that it didn't work out. There are bigger and better things in your future… I just know it."

"You are so kind for saying that."

"Good-bye Doctor Crane."

"Good-bye Beth." He put her on hold for Gary to pick up the line to give her the information she was waiting for. He wiped his eyes. "Well perhaps it is a good time to go to another commercial." He tapped the button to disconnect his microphone. The words Beth spoke were still ringing in his ears, "I think some day you're going to look back on this last relationship and actually appreciate that it didn't work out." He thought about it for a several seconds and then muttered to himself, "Yeah right." He sat there for several more moments trying to pull himself together. Gary finished talking to Beth. He got up from his seat and went over to open the door between their booths. "This lady who brought my coffee…" Frasier was attempting to pull himself through his pain and bring him back into the other things at hand. "What did she say when she dropped off the coffee?"

Gary turned to him in a manner as if he was almost expecting to be scolded for not getting more information on the coffee-girl. "'Here, give this to Frasier'."

"Huh", he said aloud. That could be a secret admirer, but it certainly didn't sound like a fan. A fan would have asked more about Frasier or ask his whereabouts. "I'm going to the gentlemen's room to get some of this coffee out of my trousers."

"Good luck with that," Gary said smugly.

Frasier went into the restroom across the hall and wet some paper towels to try and draw some of the caffeine from his lap. He retrieved some more towels to try to dry his pants. Then he took handfuls of water to bring to his face. As he dried his face, he took a long look in the mirror. Normal day, he thought. What he would do to be able to say that it was a normal day again; where he wasn't hurting so much.

When Frasier went back into his booth, he froze in the doorway. There, on his console, was a fresh coffee next to a bottle of Perrier. He could only think of one thing to say, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?"


	5. Chapter 5

_555-KACL by Patrick Councilor_

Frasier marched right over to the door to Gary's booth and threw it open. "What is the meaning of this?"

Gary leaned back in his chair defensively. "The same lady dropped it off."

"What did she say?" Frasier snapped back.

"The same thing: 'Give this to Frasier'."

"Who is she Gary?"

"I asked her what her name was…"

"Yes?" Frasier snapped in his impatience.

"She said it was Lynnetta."

"Lynnetta… I don't know any Lynnetta. Why is she bringing me coffee?"

"She must be listening to the show and knew you spilled the last one."

"Yes, I know," Frasier said sharply and then changed to aggravation, "But why is she bringing me coffee?"

"You're back on in five."

Frasier swung back into his booth, closing the door behind himself, and hurried into his chair. He put his headset back on as he glared at the fresh coffee and bottle of water. He slapped a button on his console. "And we're back Seattle…" There was dead air. Something just occurred to Frasier like a cold slap across the face. If Lynnetta was listening to the show, she would have known that he spilled his coffee, but she also would have known that Gary bought him coffee. Frasier announced that at the beginning of the show. So why would she have brought the first coffee in? Perhaps she didn't catch the beginning of the show. She could have been at Nervosa picking up the coffee at the time. Oh, why is he letting this drive him crazy? "Who's our next caller Gary?"

"We've got Lorilee on line two calling from Redmond. She's calling about a new romance in her life."

Does everything have to be about love this hour, he thought. "Lorilee, you're on the air. I'm listening."

"My daughter would be perfect for you."

"Excuse me?"

"My daughter. She could be a model. You and her could really hit it off."

"No… Lorilee… everyone out there… please don't call in and try to set me up on a date. I am not ready to start dating again and have no intentions of changing the theme of my show to 'The Matchmaker'. Thank you for your call." He disconnected. He then hit the cough button. "Gary, tighten the call screening up. We're in for a wild ride." Lifting his hand off of the cough button, he asked, "Gary, who is our next caller?"

"We've got Gillian from Auburn on line one. He's calling in about personal frustrations."

"Great," Frasier said aloud. What a nice break from talking about love. He hit line one. "Gillian, welcome to the show. I'm listening."

"I don't like to shave Doctor Crane." Gillian's voice was monotone.

Frasier hid his face in his hands. He couldn't believe he was about to experience a call like this. He lifted his face from his hands. "And why is that Gillian?"

"When I was young, I thought it would be really cool to shave. Now that I'm older, it's a real drag… and it grows so fast. Faster than most men. If I want to look my best at night, I have to shave a second time. I hate shaving. I even buy different shaving creams just to make shaving a little more entertaining. Sometimes I use a second mirror to reflect into the vanity mirror when I shave. I call it the Anne Oakley shaving technique. You know because she used to shoot targets over her shoulder using a mirror."

"Yes, I caught the jest that one," he said without interest.

"But Doctor Crane… I hate shaving."

"Gillian, if you dislike shaving so much, I suggest going to a barber that offers shaving services or looking into alteratives of shaving… like having it waxed. Thank you for your call. Gary… dare I ask… who do we have next?"

"We have Charlotte on line two. She's calling from… Chicago."

"I'll take this," Frasier snapped. He hovered his fingertips over the line and then pressed. "Charlotte, this is Doctor Frasier Crane. You're ON THE AIR."

"Frasier, I don't like the way things ended between us…"

"Charlotte, let me repeat: You're ON THE AIR."

"Oh… your show… Well then, Doctor Crane, I am calling in about a man that I know."

"Yes," Frasier said with the utmost curiosity.

"You see, I met this dear man when I lived in Seattle. Then my life took a turn. I bought my business back from my ex-husband. That took me back to Chicago."

"And how did this make you feel?"

"I was heartbroken. We had just started dating, but we had something. We really had something."

"And then what happened?"

"One day he just showed up in Chicago. Out of the blue, he showed up. He had given up a great job and career in San Francisco to be with me."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"You have no idea. I don't think I can explain something like that." She started to cry. "I love him and I miss him so."

Frasier wiped another tear from his eye. "Charlotte, life is rarely kind and is often unfair. I'm certain he misses you dearly."

"He wasn't happy in Chicago… He couldn't get a job in the same career field and he was miserable. I knew it and he knew it. So I broke up with him."

Frasier tried to speak, but he couldn't.

She continued. "I can't live without him. I can't eat. I can't sleep. But I couldn't let him know… because I loved him so much that I wanted him to be happy."

Frasier's hands were trembling and he couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face. He spoke, "Charlotte, sometimes the world can be an ugly place. But…" He swallowed and choked back his tears. "Sometimes in those ugly places, a single flower may grow. We may find beauty in a single moment in our lives and enjoy it while it lasts. It's moments like that that let us know that we're alive."

"I want to ask him something… I-If he's listening to your show…"

"I'm certain he will get your message."

"I want him to know that I think we should plant some more flowers."

Frasier stopped. He tilted his head. "Okay, he may have gotten your message… but he may not have understood it in its entirety."

"Frasier, I've sold half of the business and my partner is allowing me to relocate and start another branch of the business. I'm going to find my man and relocate where he is. I don't care if I have to relocate to the moon."

"Oh Charlotte, really?" his voice was beaming.

"I love you Frasier," she said.

"I love you too."

Gary jumped in. "We're going to a commercial. We'll be right back."

"Charlotte, really? Do you know how happy this makes me?"

"I'm already packed. I'm heading to Seattle on the next flight."

"I'll pick you up at the airport."

"Ah, Frasier," Gary said.

"Yes… Gary, yes?"

"The station manager on line one."

"Charlotte, I have to take this. You make me so happy. I love you. Let me put you on hold. I'll only be a moment."

"Sure. I love you."

"I love you too." He put her on hold to answer the other line. "Roz, did you hear?"

"Frasier, that is wonderful. I am so happy for you. I heard everything. So you're staying here at KACL?"

Frasier smiled. "Yes… it looks that way. I can happily say 'yes'."

"I am so happy for you and delighted to be able to see my friend every day again."

"Thanks Roz, but let me get back to Charlotte."

"Hey Frasier, have Gary play The Best of Frasier for the rest of the afternoon. Go send her some flowers. Enjoy the rest of the day off."

"Thank you Roz. She's catching the next flight to Seattle."

"Way to go stud."

"Well… Roz," he said and loved the way she teased him so.

"Oh and another thing."

"What's that?"

"Send me the cleaning bill for your pants. I feel guilty."

"My pants?"

"When I heard you announce on your show that Gary bought you coffee, I knew he'd screw it up so I sent my assistant to get you coffee from Café Nervosa."

"Oh. Oh, Lynnetta is your assistant?"

"Yeah, I would have brought it down myself, but being a station manager, I get tied up with work from time to time. Did you get your replacement coffee?"

"Yes, thank you so much. You are a great friend."

"Hey, I've got to protect my investments at the station," she said.

Frasier knew better. The coffee was sent from the heart. "Thanks Roz. Let me get back to Charlotte."

"Okay."

Frasier hit the button. "I missed you and love you so much."

"Hey poo-poo head, watch it."

"Spencer, I think it's time you accepted the information Gary will have for you for anger management therapy."

~ fin ~

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for reading my story. Please leave a review. I love reading your reviews as much as I love writing Frasier fan fiction.


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